My life was picture perfect.
4 degrees, including 2 Master’s and a PhD.
A successful career and 3 businesses.
A great husband, a wonderful daughter, and a pretty house in NYC suburbs.
A happily ever after…
Had some wine in the evenings to relax. But who doesn’t?
Didn’t have the passion or romance in my marriage. But who does?
Was gaining weight and feeling tired all the time. Thyroid and adrenals were cracking. But that’s just what happens when you’re pushing 40, right?
And then one fine afternoon,
I found myself in the ER with symptoms of a stroke.
I was on the phone with a client. I smiled, but only the right side of my face engaged. The left side of my face and body felt weak and not responsive.
I finished the phone call (not right away, but when it was due to finish) and headed out to drive myself—with my right hand on the steering wheel—to the nearest hospital. (Tells you something about my life at the time. In fact, it tells you more than I was ready to admit then.)
Luckily, it wasn’t a stroke. It was “just” stress.
I had a nice “spa day” in the ER—didn’t have to do anything, run anywhere, take care of anyone. There were no demands on me. I just had to lay there and breathe. Guilt-free; possibly for the first time as a mother, wife, and professional. A stroke scare quailed at me for a hall pass. I was being taken care of and waited on hand and foot. (You know you’re in trouble if this sounds dreamy to you.)
I had time and space to think and reflect on my life for the first time in a long, long time. The ER monitors meditatively beeping in the background.
Beep, beep, beep…
And in that quiet, meditative space, a really disturbing thought bubbled up,
“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME? THIS IS THE LIFE I DREAMED OF AND WORKED SO HARD FOR?!”
The pretty facade of my dead-woman-walking “perfect” life began to peal. This revelation stirred up another big question:
Why was it that my clients were having these massive breakthroughs, and I felt so stuck, stressed, and suffocating inside a box that I myself had built?
And then the light bulb went off.
The active ingredient in all the healing work I did with my clients was mind-body trauma resolution. I understood that trauma was the root cause of anxiety, depression, stress, relationship, money, and most health issues. Even if (and especially if) a person did not think they had any trauma.
Those emotional, verbal, physical, and sexual experiences—no matter how “not a big deal” they were, no matter how long ago they happened, and even if—and especially if —they thought they’d “moved on…” were affecting them. They were imprinted in their subconscious, in their nervous system, in their body. The body never forgets. The body never lies. Even if the mind—and especially if the mind—creates all these other stories.
I knew all that, so why do you think I was not using the trauma healing tools for myself?
I didn’t think I had any trauma.
I know better now.
This knowing better has saved my life.
I’ve organized the practices that took me from stuck to breakthrough, to a new level of joy, happiness, and fulfillment in my work, relationships, and health—well beyond what I thought was possible for me—in my 5-step “jailbreak” system. I used this system to heal the toxic effects of Patriarchy Stress Disorder that had been keeping me stuck.
Stuck running in the hamster wheel of trying to achieve more, only to have to keep up with myself and then outrun myself. Stuck running faster and faster and going nowhere. Stuck doing more—but enjoying less.
The foundation of this system came from my doctoral research on transformation and well over 20,000 hours of practice as a therapist and coach.
I’m a slow learner. Even as I’ve been helping women find freedom, happiness, and fulfillment, it took me over a decade to see the walls of my own prison—and experience my own jailbreak.
That’s how Patriarchy Stress Disorder operates. It disconnects us from ourselves, our bodies, our wisdom, our truth, our desires. It veils our true desires. It keeps us out of our authentic zone of genius. It makes us blind to opportunities.
But once you see it, you cannot unsee it. You learn to recognize its destructive, toxic influence on all areas of your life. You see the prison walls that had been invisible. You pick up the tools to take them down. You’re ready for your jailbreak.
Once you’re on the outside, there’s no going back.
You feel like a whole different person.
You feel life yourself.
You feel ease and peace.
You stop the war on yourself.
The inner critic goes away.
There’s a permanent ceasefire with your body.
Your body becomes your friend.
Your mind becomes your efficient employee — not the CEO. Your inner knowing is reinstated in that role.
Making right decisions in your work and personal life becomes effortless. The tormenting self-doubt and indecision are now things of the past.
Your energy and vitality return. The hormones balance out naturally. You’re feeling and looking younger.
Your resilience is off the charts. You’re unbreakable. Unsinkable. No matter what challenges and crises life throws at you. You roll through them like the queen that you are.
You enjoy life like… you can’t remember the last time you did.
Ready for your jailbreak?
Wondering how I may support you on this daring, life-changing adventure?
Below are some pathways for us to connect and walk together on this journey:
Despite checking off the boxes of worldly accomplishments, most women are secretly unhappy. After 20+ years of experience working with high-achieving women experiencing the same issues of dissatisfaction (despite their amazing successes), I wrote a book to help them uncover and heal from the trauma of patriarchy and create an authentic, thriving, and fulfilling life.
WOMEN’S MENTAL HEALTH EXPERT
Through working with hundreds of women, I’ve discovered that the issues we all struggle with are not just personal—they’re rooted in the ancestral and collective trauma. I created a course, online community, and retreat to serve women who want MORE but feel stuck—as I did and my clients before seeing the invisible inner walls that were holding us back.
I enjoy sharing my revolutionary message at conferences and companies committed to diversity and inclusion, unlocking people's potential, and creating cultures of thriving, success, equality, and wellbeing for all. I believe that everyone’s doing their best with the knowledge and tools they have. When our subconscious sabotages our best efforts, we need to upgrade our knowledge and toolset to make it our ally.
MENTAL HEALTH IN BUSINESS CONSULTANT
I bring my proprietary mental health fitness system to businesses in partnership with HR, department leaders, and C-Suite executives. Benefits include improved productivity, creativity, and teamwork; decreased medical and legal costs; more present, engaged, and loyal employees and customers; lower conflict and absenteeism; and better retention and advancement rates of diverse talent.
My official bio:
DR. VALERIE REIN is a psychologist, women’s mental health expert, and business consultant who helps people achieve the best ROI by achieving the best mental health—without therapy. Dr. Valerie specializes in uncovering the hidden traumas that hold hostage people’s best work, relationships, and well-being, and effectively heals them with a powerful mind-body methodology. She holds an EdM in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University and a PhD from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Dr. Valerie is an author of Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment and a sought-after speaker at conferences and companies committed to diversity, equity, and inclusion, leadership development, and unlocking people’s potential.